i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
