i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
