The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
