i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
