After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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