its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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