I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
