told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
