So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
