the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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