So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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