Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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