Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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