Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize