I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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