Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
