i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
