I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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