I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
