I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
