school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
