if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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