My brain says no but my pants say off.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
