I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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