My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize
