speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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