hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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