That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
