Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
