she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
