Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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