I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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