I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
