Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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