Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
