ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
