our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
