she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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