he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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