We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
