And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
