That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He shit in the fireplace
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
