We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
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