Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
