She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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