i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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