you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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