If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
