whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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