Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize