i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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