So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
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Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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