I think i peed on brittanys purse
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
if only i could text you this smell
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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