Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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