im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
