Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
