im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize