Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize