Whod you bang
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
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