it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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