im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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