I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
