everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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