his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
