There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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