remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
